Keto Shmeeto.

Winter is tough can make your nose run. Is your avocado toast going to catch it?
New studies suggest that skiing with a send-or-be-sent mentality, maintaining a daily dose of groomers, and, if you really need to pack a punch, dabbling in Rocky Mountain pow may be your body’s best ally this winter season for trimming lbs and gaining lean muscle mass. Who’s side are you on now?

Go Big.

“I tried eating kale and that didn’t go real well” said Bennett Brice of Smyrna, TN. “Wasn’t until I I started huckin’ myself down the mountain when I went out West to Col-o-ra-do that I really started to see improvement in my health.”
While reports consistently cite measurable data, anecdotally, skiers and riders have tiptoed into a more spiritual realm.
“I saw God,” responded Tim Toques of Winnipeg when asked about his latest double backflip off Jackson Hole’s famed Corbett’s Coulouir. When asked to explain more in depth, Tim was 100 feet downstream performing his latest trick “Rag Doll”.

Though the physical activity element weighs heavily on the equation of total health, a consistent and healthy diet can have profound effects as well. What is considered “healthy”, however, has become a hot debate in recent months.

A Groomer a Day…

Readily available and generally beneficial to overall well-being are the Groomers. Guaranteed daily and highly concentrated in the East, popping a Groomer a few times a week is a method of consumption without much long term investment for the casual city dweller. No, you won’t sell your possessions and career-oriented ambitions for this one, but you may experience a slightly inflated confidence in your athletic ability or ability just to do things faster than your average human.
“I used to see my husband,” said Kathy Blandstone of Cambridge, Massachusetts. “But ever since he started greasing the floors in the house to get around quicker, I had to move in with my parents down the road. He’s taking it a little far.”
If you want a dose of Groomers in the East, check out
– Bretton Woods – Carroll, NH
– Sunday River – Newry, ME
– Stratton Mountain Resort – Stratton, VT
and if you look West of the Mississippi
– Beaver Creek – Beaver Creek, CO
– Deer Valley Resort – Park City, UT
– Sun Valley – Ketchum, ID

A Prescription for Powder

According to the latest data, individuals who consume a healthy dose of 6” or more of locally grown non-GMO Rocky Mountain powder per week see statistically significant results. Thankfully, hot spots for pow exists all up and down the Rocky Mountain range. Here is a list of Rocky Mountain powderspensaries.
In the Northern Rockies, look for second helpings at
– Grand Targhee Resort – Alta, WY (500”)
– Jackson Hole Mountain Resort – Jackson, WY (450”)
– Big Sky Resort – Big Sky, MT (400”)
Farther south in the Mid-Rockies turn your eye toward
– Alta Ski Area – Alta, UT (500”+)
– Brighton Resort – Brighton, UT (500”+)
– Park City/Canyons – Park City, UT (360”)
 

Finally, A Snowpioid Epidemic

There are, however, two sides to the coin. New data suggests that increasing your dosage of pow per week

(PPW) may be addicting. Across the nation, highly educated young men and women are uprooting their lives in increasing numbers for plywood interior vans, cramped dorms, and paper-thin wall sheds in Dan, father of two,’s back yard just to be closer to the source. As the trend continues, thousands of religious millennials are turning their prayers not to the church, but to the Norse god of snow Ullr for more and thanks to peace-of-mind apps like Instagram and Twitter, #vanlife, #freshpow, and #livefolk posts are spreading the reach of this powerful drug at an alarming rate. With a shudder of fear and an insightful outside-looking-in perspective, some experts and parents believe our nation is stuck in the middle of a Snow-pioid Epidemic.
“Do I envision a future of stability for my boy?” responded Sallie Mae of Dallas, whose son darted off in a 1990 Ford Econoline for the Big Sky parking lot right after getting his masters in accounting from SMU. “At this rate with his current diet, I don’t know if it laid down in front of him he would even want it.”